How to Forgive Someone

We've all heard the saying, "You have to forgive, but you don't have to forget." I won't refute that, but you have to agree that a lot of people use that excuse to never 'really' forgive at all. Are you one of those people?

Let's rephrase it a little. "You have to forgive?and you have to forget the anger, the pain, the anxiety, and everything else that comes with someone sinning against you. But you don't have to make yourself a target (even though Jesus did)." Sound a little more difficult? This is really the Christian way of life, and it's going to be difficult. No one promised you would enjoy it.

So we'll start with the forgiveness. This is where you have the most control, because it's an act of will. You have to decide to forgive, and then do it. Here's a short list of what this involves:

?No more daydreaming about your perpetrator's pain and suffering.

?Stop thinking about the 'what if' outcomes, and accept what happened.

?Start praying for the person. Not for their punishment, not for them to see the light?pray for their good and their soul. Say a simple Hail Mary, without meditating on the one you're praying for. Meditate on the words, and dedicate it to your perpetrator. Let God decide how to reward or punish them.

?If you can do something nice for the person, do it without grumbling and without reminding them of what they did wrong.

?Stop gossiping about them.

?Every time you find yourself thinking about it, change the subject. Think about the starving kids in China, your financial problems, Baby Jesus?anything.

Now that (believe it or not) is the easy part. Now it comes time to deal with the anger and pain. Sometimes it's easy. But in cases of serious violation, or when someone hurts a loved one, the very idea sounds idiotic. And no, you'll never completely let go, but you can completely try. And you can start by using some of the techniques listed above.

You'll probably have to take it further. You'll have to swallow those emotions. Bury them deep. Yes, I'm going against what every therapist out there is preaching, but talking and sulking is no way to get over anything. You've had your period of pity; it's time to move on. When you feel the flame of anger building inside you, force it to the back of your mind, and let it die. Don't waste another second of your life stewing. It'll take practice, but every day is another chance.

Finally, there's that last part. This is where most of us have trouble. This is also where we have to weigh our duties, and choose what's most important. Here are a few questions to help you sort it out:

?Does it involve someone under your protection? I'm talking mainly to parents. Our children obviously come first, and we're never obligated to put them in danger.

?Does it involve a sexual violation? I don't have to go into this. If someone isn't treating your body like a Temple of Christ, then stay away from them.

?Does it involve injury? The big question here is 'How much'? A school boy shouldn't offer himself out to the wedgie bully, but a pop in the arm is usually more a matter of humiliation than personal injury. If your body is being harmed by someone, you have a right to stop them?but again, Christ didn't. Also, consider how likely the person is to harm you again. If it was a one-time event, you should let go. On a side note: Repeated domestic violence has several victims, especially children. And track records show that very few offenders 'only strike once.' If you're trying to figure out whether or not to leave such a situation, stoop thinking and get out.

?Does it involve personal property? Who's property? If you're raising a family, you can't risk everything and ignore their needs. But ask yourself if the amount stolen or damaged property is worth the hassle of never trusting someone again.

?Does it involve your good name? Hunker down and forget about it. The truth will set you free. Lies hurt the liar more than anyone else. If it's the truth, then just be more careful of what you say?but don't withhold something begrudgingly.

Written by the copywriters at http://copyforsale.com, where you can find free content for your Christian newsletters and websites.

Meta-Rational Thought

We, the human species, stand on the threshold of a new era?...The Age of Conscious... Read More

Your Gift and Talent is Not for YOU!

Although your creative ability and talent is something that God has given TO you, it's... Read More

The Purpose of Life, Told by an Agnostic

Talked to an interesting person today at a coffee shop, after about 10 minutes or... Read More

Why Angels, Why Now?

The Angelic realms have been very active throughout the human experience. They-as brilliant aspects of... Read More

Sinners by Choice

God said, "Thou shalt not?" and we continue to tell God, "we will." We continue... Read More

Anam Chara - The Flow of Life

I am deeply drawn to the above Irish Blessing.This blessing works for me on very... Read More

Amazing Faith

Last week, I sat at my computer and watched the MSN video clip that recapped... Read More

The Subconscious Mind: A Tool For Success

As a Coach and Psychotherapist I have found that the world seems to have lost... Read More

Immaterial Gain

Among some of us who deem ourselves spiritual, the use of the word "spiritual" causes... Read More

Get Off The Freeway

Have you ever noticed how much our lives resemble a freeway? Once we are on... Read More

Slow Leak

In God's world, everything can be used as an anology to His Word. I'm using... Read More

The Foundational Laws of Spiritual Physics

Over the past years, I have undergone a life-altering transition from living on autopilot to... Read More

Healing Your Life

You have everything you need: a miraculous body, a phenomenal brain, and a vast and... Read More

The Two Most Important Commandments - Love

Love is mentioned well over 350 times in the Bible. I'm sure God must be... Read More

How to Forgive Someone

We've all heard the saying, "You have to forgive, but you don't have to forget."... Read More

Soul Provider

I had the intention of writing about Soul Mates but it occurred to me to... Read More

Dowsing ? Using Divining Rods To Obtain Answers To Your Questions

Divining Rods, also known as Dowsing Rods, have been used since ancient times by water... Read More

Integrity and Spirituality

The concept of integrity has arisen often in discussions of spirituality. What do we mean... Read More

Enthusiam And The Spirit

In this article, I would like deal with one specific aspect of attitude, that is,... Read More

Forgiveness- The Path To Healing & Spiritual Growth

The dictionary defines the word forgive as: [to pardon, as to for-give an enemy;to cease... Read More

Whatd We Miss?

Did we just overlook the amount of love that God has for us?His word, shown... Read More

God?s Presence When Troubles Come

Life, no matter how we choose to look at it, is a constant battle. It... Read More

The Power of One

Yes, we are living in a world where we are constantly shown, by the media,... Read More

Buddha Never Bowed Before a Statue, and Jesus Never Kneeled Before a Cross, From Divine Source

Far to many people have become "followers" rather than BEING and living the messages they... Read More

Existence of God: Facts and Figures Does God Exist?

Existence of God: facts and figures Does God exist?If you are a theist... you already... Read More

Life as the Ultimate Psychedelic Experience

Life is just a journey. Princess DianaWhether we are for or against psychedelic experiences,... Read More

True Health

Some may ask, is there any truth to have a healthy life. I say yes... Read More

Past Life: Wanting to Know Who I was in My Past Life?

Before we tread into the domain of Past Life... we need to understand the present... Read More

Beneficiaries of the Promise

We are the beneficiaries of the promise God made to Abraham that all nations would... Read More

Making the Impossible Possible

"I learned I was not, as most Africans believed, the victim of my circumstances but... Read More

The Key to a Clear Conscience

I have discovered as I grow older in Christ Jesus and wiser in all things... Read More

Halloween Rites

For some of us, EVERY DAY IS HALLOWEEN!!! If you want to be unusual dress... Read More

Prayer - The Ultimate power

There is an prayer process in every religion and everyone has it own unique importance.I... Read More

African American Hiking for Spiritual Health

Hiking is gaining popularity within the African-American community. We're beginning to spend more time in... Read More

Thank You Lord, Most Graciously

There are moments in the believer's life when the Spirit of the living God gets... Read More

Knowing The Holy Spirit!

"You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be... Read More

Selfishness is a True Declaration of Lifes Purpose

In your quest for enlightenment, always ask what's in it for me?On the surface the... Read More

Memories Didnt Happen

Have you ever experienced a traumatic event? I'm sure the answer to that question is... Read More

Near Death Experiences: Is there a Logical Explanation?

In an edition of Reader's Digest, I stumbled upon a compelling article, "After Life," by... Read More

Protective Symbols, Charms, and Totems

There is power in meanings of the old images and symbols. Below is a compendium... Read More

White Sun - Who Are We?

Human beings originally have three forms of existence. The first one in Heaven, the second... Read More

Relieve Me of Myself

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross... Read More

Afraid Of Reading The Bible? I Was!

A magnificent source of life insurance and it's FREE. You can't fault that! You won't... Read More

Spring Cleanup

The junk I'm talking about is the stuff that we keep stored up inside ourselves.... Read More

Show Of Hands

The human body is surely a miracle of God's creation. Each member has its unique... Read More

Preparing For Enlightenment

Enlightenment can come in an instant or it may take many life cycles.The shortest distance... Read More

Thinking Out Loud (Questions) Part one of a two part Series

(Channeled)Roy-when does the end of physical life come? Is it when the body finally breaks... Read More

The Final Chapter

Several months ago, I read an article about a 22 year... Read More

Spiritual Inspiration Music and The New Age

Spiritual Inspiration Music is about Love, Growth, Spiritual and Personal Development and our relationship to... Read More

Jesus The Great Comforter! When Life is not fair!

We see it all the time in people's lives some unwanted circumstance enters and life... Read More