Enhancing Communication in Marriage

In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It's not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.

Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you.

You may find that it's difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions.

Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy.

Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non-verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are:

* Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking;

* Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse is sharing his/her viewpoint;

* Looking at your watch or a clock repeatedly;

* Not stopping what you're doing when your spouse is trying to have a serious talk with you;

* Not making eye contact and not giving your partner your undivided attention;

* Using the time when your spouse is talking to think about other things unrelated to the conversation;

* Tuning your spouse out because you've heard the same thing repeatedly and are convinced it's the same old speech;

* Becoming defensive and angry immediately instead of showing your partner the respect of hearing him/her out;

* Belittling your spouse, name calling, cursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or getting in his/ her face.

* Interrupting your partner before he/she is finished talking.

It has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur.

If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give." While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.

Las Vegas Casino Weddings

If you are at all familiar with Las Vegas, you know that the number one... Read More

Wedding Flower Ideas

Your wedding flowers cover all button holes, all the bouquets, the decoration in the church,... Read More

Renewing Your Marriage Vows - On the Right Side of the Law

Movies, sitcoms and soapies made in the United States could mislead Australian couples into inadvertently... Read More

When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations

Wedding Invitations should be ordered when you have all the details of your wedding set?... Read More

Wedding Planning

Depending on your personal preferences and the preferences of your husband or wife-to-be, a wedding... Read More

The (American) Bride Wore Red

Increasing numbers of American brides are thinking about doing the formerly unthinkable -- getting married... Read More

Weddings - Wedding Plan - Wedding Planner Tools - Ten Essential Tips

Getting Married? Congratulations! You just set the date for the most important day in your... Read More

Planning Your Wedding Reception

Great deals can be found when you know how much money you are working with.... Read More

Essential Advice for Your Wedding Day

You've been engaged for months, you've made it through planning the ceremony, the attire, the... Read More

The Loveliest Las Vegas Wedding Reception

If you are actually planning your Las Vegas wedding reception, you're already a step ahead... Read More

How to Recognize and Cope with an Emotional Affair

Did you know that an emotional affair can be just as dangerous to a marriage... Read More

Maid of Honor Duties

Being chosen as a maid of honor is a great privilege, but it also requires... Read More

Fun Dating Ideas to Spice up Your Marriage

One of the best benefits of marriage is that you have a permanent dating partner.... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 7

As you reach 30 and beyond, you encounter a very frightening phenomena.At first you hardly... Read More

Give-and Take: Recipe for Success in Marriage?

A woman once visited a counselor to ask a question about her marriage. I have... Read More

Married 4 Good Thinking

Although I do believe in "till death do us part", the M4G concept is not... Read More

How to Nurture Intimacy When Youre in a Long-Distance Marriage

The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how to keep emotional intimacy alive when... Read More

The Gracious Bride

The key to being a gracious bride is to be genuine, thoughtful and courteous if... Read More

Wedding Reception; From Trendy to Traditional

Wedding receptions are not as formal as they once were, more and more couples are... Read More

Marriage Counseling: What to Do When a Spouse Flirts Too Much

When Alicia first met Tim, she found him outgoing, charming, and easy to talk to.... Read More

Flowers in Her Hair

Before George W Bush became a President, John Quincy Adams was the first son of... Read More

28 Things That Really Do Matter In Marriage (Short Shots On Living An Exceptional Life)

In my opinion, these things matter...1. Valuing commitment over instant pleasure and faithfulness beyond short... Read More

A Tale of Two Weddings

In the next six months, my son, daughter, andgrandson are all... Read More

Invitation Anatomy 101 - Optional Components - Part 2 of 3

Hopefully, you've read my prerequisite lesson "Invitation Anatomy 101 ? Typical Components". If not, I... Read More

Wedding Planning: Benefits of Online Wedding RSVPs

Want to manage your wedding guests with style and ease? Forget about multiple checklists and... Read More

How to Plan a Cheap Wedding

There's no doubt about it, weddings can be expensive. The average cost of a wedding... Read More

Wedding Cake Design Through History

The design of the traditional wedding cake has varied greatly over time. Once a sign... Read More

A Butterfly Release; Alternatives to Throwing Rice

Brides are looking for different ways to make their wedding different and unique. The releasing... Read More

Wedding Favor Creator

Wedding favors have always been a nice, personal gesture to include in your wedding preparations.... Read More

10 Secrets to a Successful Stress-Free Wedding

Your wedding is supposed to be the most important day in a your life, and... Read More

The Perfect Wedding Budget

Creating a wedding budget is one of the first things a bride should do. Although... Read More

Here Comes the Bride

As we hear the music begin to play the Bridal March, we all stand to... Read More

Mens Diamond Rings ? The Ultimate Wedding Ring For The Modern Man

Mens diamond rings are becoming more and more popular with the modern man. As more... Read More

Choosing the Wedding Disc Jockey

Your wedding day is the day when all the details that you've always thought about... Read More

Moissanite Engagement Rings ? Find The Perfect Glam You?re Looking For

Wish to make that one day in your life really special? Let moissanite engagement rings... Read More

Wedding Lingerie ? Honeymoon in Paradise

There are many things to remember in preparation for your wedding day. Of the many... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 3

Remember the frenzy of the paparazzi when they caught Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York,... Read More

How To Choose The Right Wedding Bouquet Style

Basically, there are three wedding bouquet styles. The cascade, round or posy, and hand-tied.The cascade,... Read More

Expressions of Devotion: Buying Engagement Rings, Wedding Rings, and Wedding Bands Online

Ritual symbolism abounds in everything we do; this is particularly the case when an individual... Read More

Creating A Wedding Budget You Can Afford

The most important part of planning a wedding is setting your budget. Your budget is... Read More

Marriage Counseling: How to Keep Jealousy From Destroying Your Marriage

Jealousy has often been called the "green-eyed monster," and with good reason. The "monster" is... Read More

Gatlinburg Honeymoon Packages

Gatlinburg in Tennessee is the city with streets of art galleries and quaint shops selling... Read More

Secrets of a Happy Marriage

My husband and I have a perfect marriage.There. I said it.Now some of you may... Read More

Ten Ways to Have an Irish Wedding

Honor your Emerald Isle heritage with traditions that are romantic, clever, and a couple that... Read More

Wedding Planning: Prioritize to Stay Within Your Wedding Budget

So you're planning your wedding and a thousand decisions must be made! It can be... Read More

Brad Pitt - Jennifer Aniston Marriage Undermined by Inappropriate Friendship with Angelina Jolie

Speculation continues about the break-up of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and what role Angelina... Read More

50th Wedding Anniversary Gift Ideas

A 50th anniversary gift commemorates a milestone most married couples wish to reach. What can... Read More

Wedding Photography - Tips for a Wonderful Session

Every couple wants wonderful photos of their wedding day that capture the celebration, details, romance... Read More

Hey, Where Do I Put My Speakers? Unique Venues Require Unique DJs

If your wedding or party is being held in a unique facility with specific acoustic... Read More

Affordable Centerpieces for Your Wedding Reception

When it comes to decorating your reception tables, the centerpieces for each table play a... Read More