The Secret Of Lasting Personal Change

Why do so many of us end up frustrated when we try to improve our personal reality?

Why do diets end up in gained weight?

Why do some people fail again and again at business?

Why do others get into one bad relationship after another - in spite of their deep desire for a "good" relationship?

Obviously no one *wishes* to fail in their personal or business life. Yet this is an all-too-common problem

Let's face it! We want and deserve to make our lives a better place to be!

We want and deserve success! We want a sense of security! We want a good relationship with ourselves and others.

Good grief -- most of us just WANT to be happy!

** The *Basic Rule* of Lasting Personal Change Trying to change the external conditions of your life is obviously a challenge.

The basic rule of personal change is this: Your effort will *always* fail, or only be temporary, unless accompanied by a change of your internal thoughts and beliefs.

It all starts in your mind! Period!

For example: Consider trying to lose weight by going on a "diet," without first dealing with "why" you are overweight.

We all know the final outcome of such a battle - failure!

There are NO exceptions to this rule.

To change your external conditions, you must first change your internal reality.

Ask yourself: What's happening in your mind to make your business efforts end in failure? Or your relationships collapse? Or your waistline to continuously expand?

Unless you uncover and deal with the source, all your efforts will only be a band-aid over a festering wound.

This rule applies to anything you want to change in your life: From a fear of flying, to chronic underachievement and failure, lack of motivation, low energy, monetary lack, etc.

** How We Create Our Personal Reality The old saying "you become what you think" is more than just a "saying." It is now solidly backed by years of sophisticated brain research. Here's how it works:

Picture a foot path through a meadow: Frequent use creates a well-defined pathway. But if the path isn't used, it eventually disappears.

By its very nature, your mind is a creature of habit. Just like a path through a meadow - neural pathways in your brain are "worn in" (strengthened) by frequent use. But unused neural pathways, on the other hand, will slowly disappear.

So . . . if you give frequent attention to negative thoughts and conditions, they will grow stronger and more defined.

If you focus on the bright side of life, on the other hand, your "positive" neural pathways will gain strength and definition. It really IS this simple.

((( What you focus on will grow! )))

Your thoughts actually CREATE your external reality, because they determine how you will respond to what happens to you!

And your RESPONSES, in turn, directly determine your "personal reality."

** How Your Mind Works Your conscious and subconscious minds are a team. They work together to create your "mental reality."

No one *consciously* chooses to think negatively. Most of our negative thoughts rise up automatically out of our subconscious minds.

Picture your subconscious mind as a garden. Your habitual thoughts and beliefs are seeds. The subconscious mind does not question the seeds planted in it. It simply provides the soil in which they flourish and grow.

Your conscious mind, on the other hand, is the wise gardener. It chooses and plants healthy seeds, and removes the weeds that have grown in your mental garden.

It's important to remember that the subconscious mind does NOT *rationally analyze* the seeds planted in its soil. It just works 24-hours a day to grow what has been planted in it.

Your subconscious mind will manifest failure, sickness, depression and misfortune -- just as easily as it will manifest success, abundance, and happiness.

** Four "ANT-Stomping" Steps

If you have not achieved the happiness and success you deserve in your life, you probably have some ANTs running around your subconscious mind.

ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) can undo our most determined efforts to create a healthy, happy, successful, prosperous life. They are the enemy of anyone desiring lasting personal change.

Here are five steps you can take to stomp out your ANTs:

First, build your awareness of what those ANTs are all about. What messages are they marching through your subconscious mind?

Second, once you become aware of an ANT, drag it out into the sunlight of your conscious mind. Ask yourself: Is it providing a message about something you should change? Or is it just spouting "old stuff" from age five that's no longer really true?

Third, create an anchor to either make the indicated change, or stomp that ANT. An anchor is a *signal* to yourself that will become automatic, once established. For example, you could instruct yourself to snap your fingers every time an ANT tries to undo your efforts to improve your life. Come up with your own anchor.

Fourth, remember that your mind can only hold ONE thought at a time. Focus your conscious thoughts on what you WANT. Do NOT focus on worry or limitation. Remember: What you focus on *will* grow!

Fifth, most of all, just hang in there my friend! Personal change and growth happens one day at a time. Just continue to rededicate yourself to creating the life you desire...and deserve!

The author, Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler, is a doctor of psychology, pioneer brain/mind researcher, and former advisor to the Pentagon, a Presidential Commission, and numerous top executives and executive teams.

The author of several books and hundreds of articles, she is also the co-founder of quantum-self.com, and the Creative Director of the Self Discovery Community. She can be reached at: drjill@quantum-self.com

Come visit the exciting Self Discovery Community. Discover the most interesting, unusual, stimulating and creative methods of self discovery on the web today! Free sizzling weekly ezine, and the web's first Brain Gym ezone. http://www.quantum-self.com

Universal Thought Systems Language Part 2

Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System in a positive expansive manner,... Read More

Increase Awareness With One Simple Question

There are many ways we can increase our own personal awareness about our life and... Read More

Musicians Survival was Truly a Miracle: Singer Songwriter Fights for his Life

Every morning when singer-songwriter Michael Alan looks into the mirror and sees the surgical scar... Read More

Principles That Govern My Life

The strength and durability of a building is found in its foundation. The same is... Read More

To Thine Own Self

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 6, 2004Someone gave me a bit... Read More

By Now, Im an Expert at Memory Loss

I sat down to write my weekly humor column, but I just could not remember... Read More

Stay Inspired

Two years ago I was in a wheelchair and told I would be paralyzed for... Read More

Dreams Do Come True

Experience has made a lot of folks to consider dreams to be fantasies, unattainable, galaxies... Read More

My Next Year With Jesus (Joyful Reflections On My Walk With The Lord)

The one question I keep coming back to is..."Am I involved with life the way... Read More

Love the Opportunity

Somebody said you have to love what you do, but that's not necessarily true. What... Read More

Lock In Your Legacy

You, my friend, are going to die.What? What kind of motivational tool is that? Real... Read More

Are You The Master Of Your Destiny?

How strong are you? I'm not asking if you can carry 150 lbs. of... Read More

Words Of Wisdom

Carlos' Words of Wisdom1. Today is your day to exceed, so why live in yesterday.2.... Read More

Anchors Away!

If we want to fill our heads with the doom and gloom society seems to... Read More

Do You Suffer From The Chef Personality?

As a chef I have a unique perspective on anger.In my time I have worked... Read More

Ignorance and Fantasy

Are beliefs not often the children of ignorance and fantasy? Consider the heavenly view of... Read More

Super Mom, Wonder Woman, Energizer Mommy or Just Mom

Have you ever sat down to watch the evening news and flashes a News Report... Read More

My Passion, My Life

Every morning I excitedly get out of bed. Just a few minutes of goals and... Read More

Be a Star in Your Own Life

Do you have the charactertics to be star in their own life? What characteristics below... Read More

You Are So Unreal

Mankind's ability to give life to lifeless objects, gives rise to much of the grief... Read More

Built in Judge

In this world we don't have to afraid to anybody except to only one. Who... Read More

Everyone Has Been Hurt...Part 3

Continued....When I turned 18 years old, I met a new guy, I actually went to... Read More

Financial Freedom Blues

Steps to Financial Freedom, roadmap to financial freedom, achieve financial freedom?Financial freedom seems to be... Read More

Seven Things You Must Give to Others if You Want to Achieve Success!

A major part of the process of achieving success and living the kind of life... Read More

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Whoever coined this phrase is a genius. Life finds ways to dish out exactly this-... Read More

Essential Oils and Aromatherapy: Raise Your Frequency with These Divine Gifts

The volatile essences of aromatic plants contain potent, complex, natural chemical compounds that work at... Read More

Numbers

Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 19, 2003I'm currently in the classic... Read More

The Priceless Gift of a Knee-High Smile

She was just over knee-high standing next to me in the checkout line. I first... Read More

Lifetime of Discoveries: Moments of Peace and Renewal

There are discoveries all around us—small gifts of joy that bring moments of peace and... Read More

Encouraging Blossoms of Achievement

The tiny dogwood sapling was only a twig when my mother planted it years ago.... Read More

Oldies

Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 5, 2004I am a captain in... Read More

Giving Can Overcome Language Differences

I recently had to take a trip to Germany. It has been more than ten... Read More

Keeping Faith

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 30, 2003Please bear with me. I... Read More

Top 20 Love Quotations

"In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the... Read More

Trust the Lord and Go to The Hole

This is my new favorite quote. Now to understand it you must know what "go... Read More

Its The Journey, Not The Destination

Don't you just hate clich?s like the one illustrated in the headline of this article?... Read More

Worship and Football: Lets Take Another Look

At a recent seminar we were asked to imagine if some ... Read More

Time for Sunshine

Having spring around makes you feel different after such a long winter journey. How well... Read More

For Old Times Sake

Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 19, 2002I am currently going through... Read More

Experiences in My Life Prompted Me to Never Give Up

Many people think that their life is a disaster that for some reason they cannot... Read More

Five Reasons To Journal

Keeping a journal during the coaching process is one of the most simple and effective... Read More

Naomi and the 5 Life Lessons

Not long ago, I attended a seminar that featured Naomi Judd, half of the legendary... Read More

Attitudes - The Overlooked Inventory

It goes without question that any business intending to thrive will, sooner or later, be... Read More

How Do You Read the Bible?

Here's a simple parable with an important moral.Each mirror, you see, has inspectors, who, acting... Read More

Garbage In Its Place

There is nothing worse than seeing garbage blowing down the street of your neighborhood, or... Read More

A Lifetime In Love

We let ourselves love but are afraid to say I love you. We constantly allow... Read More

Improving Your Self Esteem

Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of celebrities. We can end... Read More

Making Commitments of Love and Courage

There is a story about a little girl who suffered from a serious disease. Her... Read More

You Can Make a Difference

When I study of world these days, I see a lot of despair, and hopeless.... Read More

Nine Lives

Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 2, 2002My husband of four years... Read More