Thats the Christmas Spirit

Last Christmas, Uncle Albert promised his neighbor, Wilson, to find a way to keep the Christmas spirit alive all year. You know, just like Wilson and everybody else wishes people each year.

Yesterday I was checking my calendar. "Holy smokes! It's almost Christmas. I better check to see if Uncle Albert found a way to keep the Christmas spirit alive all year."

So I put on my boots and buttoned up my jacket. I dashed out the door.

I came back into the house to put on a scarf. And some gloves. And a hat. And my long-johns. I filled up the thermos with hot chocolate and dug out a pair of ear muffs. "Yup. That's the Christmas spirit," I thought as I headed out once more, trying to keep my head above the snow.

When I reached Uncle Albert's, I could tell something was different. I wasn't sure quite what, but I suspect it had something to do with the large red and gold sleigh parked in his driveway.

"Say, Uncle Albert. What's with the sleigh?"

"You like it, Happy Guy? That's part of my Christmas spirit," he enthused.

"It is?"

"Of course. Riding in a one-horse open sleigh. Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? All that shtick." he smiled.

"You think that's how to keep the Christmas spirit alive all year?"

"That's just the beginning," he said as he lit up a candle. "I've cancelled my electricity."

"But why?"

"Have you ever heard of a Christmas carol with electricity?" Uncle Albert asked. "No. You hear about Christmas carols by candlelight, about silver bells, boughs of holly, all sorts of nostalgic stuff from the days when General Electric hired mice to turn the wheels of power."

I looked around for a Christmas tree. "So why no Christmas tree? Is that too modern for you?"

"Only the plastic kind," he said. "They keep dying on me. I was probably feeding them too much sheep manure. Anyway, I decorated the one out front."

"But you don't have a tree out front, Uncle Albert."

"Right there," he pointed. "Across the street. Hey Wilson! Stop blowing out my candles!"

"You lit candles on your neighbor's tree?"

"Ha! A lot of good that will do me," Uncle Albert sighed. "You would think the ingrate would appreciate a little Christmas spirit now and then. Hey Wilson! Get some Christmas spirit, you overgrown porcupine pimple!"

"Maybe some people don't want the Christmas spirit all year 'round?"

"Don't be silly, Happy Guy. Everybody wishes it to each other," he replied. "May the Christmas spirit last all year. But it never does. You know why?"

"I'm afraid I am about to find out."

"Because nobody wants to do all those things they sing so nostalgically about," he harrumphed.

"Maybe we just need some new Christmas carols. Instead of trying to make reality fit the songs, why not sing songs that fit reality?"

"Funny you should mention that," Uncle Albert exclaimed. "I wrote one just the other day. Want to hear it?"


"Here comes another Yule, let's spend like a fool. Push 'n' shove at the store, to buy even more. Light up the lights, there'll be no star in sight. Turn up the furnace, this world we will burn it. Chop down a tree, chop another down with glee. Wilson is a grump, such a whiny chump. (Like the personal touch?) This year let's all cheer it, Whoo! I love this Christmas spirit. "

"That's very original," I observed. "I am sure there must be a market for just such a song...somewhere."

"That's what I thought," Uncle Albert beamed. "Heh, heh. This could even make me rich, rich rich! Ha! Take that, Wilson."

"That's the Christmas spirit, Uncle Albert."

About The Author

The author is David Leonhardt. Sign up for his weekly satire column up at or read more columns at . Or visit his home page at

Top 50 Christmas Quotations

"Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart... Read More

How to Make a Gift Basket

Gift Baskets are an ideal gift for nearly any occasion. Gift baskets provide a convenient... Read More

Say I Love You For Valentines Day

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, it's time to start thinking about the perfect... Read More

How to Create an Irresistible Valentine?s Day Centerpiece

Valentine's Day is just around the corner which of course makes us think of love,... Read More

Cheap Christmas Gift Ideas

Now that the biggest shopping season of the year is in full swing it might... Read More

The Origins of Mothers Day

Mother's Day is, in many countries, a day for celebrating motherhood and thanking mothers. Mothers... Read More

Scary halloween Masks

There are countless Halloween masks available today. At Halloween specialty stores and online shops, you... Read More

Valentines Day Rapport

How to develop and heighten rapport on Valentines Day beyond your wildest dreams!With Valentines day... Read More

Halloween & Hounds

Halloween is "fright night" for humans not dogs. Screaming, running, spooky children in masks make... Read More

Christmas Lights Add Sparkle To The Holidays

Electric Christmas lights have been around since the 1880's. It is no wonder they are... Read More

Birthday Gift Ideas

Birthday celebrations date back as far as biblical times, when celebrations among Pharaohs and other... Read More

A Christmas Tradition - Vintage Ornaments

Traditional hand-blown glass Christmas ornaments never seem to go out of style. There is something... Read More

The Truth about Mistletoe

You can call it the emasculator of the old king, a sexual symbol, latent with... Read More

Costumes! Do They Reflect On Your True Personality?

Costumes are a great way to escape reality, and wearing your favorite costume (especially on... Read More

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - How to Tap in to the Holiday Publicity Bonanza

If your product or service can be given as a gift, a publicitywindfall awaits at... Read More

Traditional Anniversary Gifts Year by Year, the Twentieth - One Hundred Years

Twentieth through the twenty-fourth anniversaries traditional gift is china. Vintage china tea cups, bone china... Read More

Preparing For the Holidays: Ho Ho Ho... or Bah Humbug!

Some of my clients dread the holiday season because it often represents stress, pressure, expectations,... Read More

Fathers Day and Flowers

Father's Day is about to be celebrated in Australia. The first Sunday in September.Now traditionally... Read More

Bust Holiday Stress!

The holidays will be here before you know it. Clear the way for greater joy,... Read More

Planning a Spectacular Christmas Party

The holiday season is typically filled with large fancy parties, small intimate gatherings, and extravagant... Read More

Ready for Christmas? Enjoy an Organized Holiday This Year

1. Keep a stack of directions TO your place for people who need to know... Read More

Tips for Planning an Egg-stra Special Easter Party

Bunnies & chicks, colourful eggs, and the hunt for hidden chocolate. It's no wonder kids... Read More

Holiday Survival Guide

The Holiday season has officially begun and Christmas is almost here. This is the time... Read More

Getting Great Pictures of the Kids this Halloween

There she was in all her glory. Long white lab coat, frizzy hair, safety goggles... Read More

Birthday Gift Guide

A birthday gift is the opportunity to show your loved one precisely how much they... Read More

Outdoor Halloween Decorations

Few things are more thrilling for a trick-or-treater than walking up to a house detailed... Read More

Tis The Season For Love ? and Stress!

The holidays are upon us and for many people this is the most stressful time... Read More

Seven Great Holiday Decorating Tips--Without Breaking the Bank

If you're looking for great ways to decorate your home this glorious holiday season--without breaking... Read More

5 Ways to Having the Happiest Valentines Day Ever (even if youre alone)

The thought of Valentine's Day conjures up romantic evenings, a candlelight dinner, and long walks... Read More

Christmas Gift Guide

Christmas is a magical time of year, both for kids and adults. They say that... Read More

Where Have All The Wise Men Gone? Jesus Is Not Acceptable For Christmas!

It's CHRISTmas!Where are the wise men?WOW - The wise men are MISSING! What kind of... Read More

Angel Costumes! Theres An Angel Inside Us All, But Are You Naughty Or Nice?

When searching for Angel Costumes, there are so many choices online, so the heavenly question... Read More

A Harvest Halloween

To take advantage of the last days of autumn, we planned an outdoor Halloween party... Read More

How to Make Your Own Printable Invitations for Any Occasion

Even with modern technology like email and cell phones, printed invitations have remained the most... Read More

Spend More Time With Your Family This Holiday Season: Host A Caroling Party

Too often we forgo entertaining because of the mere thought of all of the preparation... Read More

Mothers Day Shopping Ideas

Do you know a Mom who needs to be thanked for the tireless effort she... Read More

Get Organised for Christmas... NOW!

Hasn't time flown? Only six weeks to Christmas!Now you may think that you're too busy... Read More

Birthday Gift Baskets ? The Ideal Gift For Everyone!

No matter how old we are, we enjoy being remembered on that special day of... Read More

Glorious Holiday Decorating: Ten Tips

If you're looking for ways to decorate your home in a glorious holiday fashion this... Read More

Ten Tips for a Real Holiday Season

Holidays and the start of a new year inevitably make us think about how we... Read More

Making Mother?s Day Special

How many times have you heard a friend say about someone who's no longer here,... Read More

Why July 4th ?

On July 4th 1776 the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence. On this day... Read More

Fun Halloween Party Themes and Ideas

Halloween is the day of the year that has the most parties thrown in its... Read More

Easter Party Ideas

Easter marks the start of spring and is a sacred holiday for Christians throughout the... Read More

Honoring our Fathers

This weekend as we celebrate Father's Day, take an opportunity to express gratitude for the... Read More

Ultimate Army Themed Games & Activities for Your Childs Birthday Party

Are you looking for the Ultimate Army Themed Party Games and Activities? Well stop looking... Read More

Celebrating the ME in MumME

Another Mother's Day is upon us. A day in which our loved ones bestow us... Read More

10 Holiday Sober Savers 2004

1.) BEGIN NOW !!!Don't save your shopping, decorating, cooking, wrapping, and cleaning for the last... Read More

Unique Gift Ideas for the Holiday Season! Go Digital!

Instead of scouring the mall for gifts this holiday season why not consider using your... Read More

Cornucopia Centerpiece for Thanksgiving Day

As we enter into the month of November my thoughts turn towards Thanksgiving and everything... Read More