Thats the Christmas Spirit

Last Christmas, Uncle Albert promised his neighbor, Wilson, to find a way to keep the Christmas spirit alive all year. You know, just like Wilson and everybody else wishes people each year.

Yesterday I was checking my calendar. "Holy smokes! It's almost Christmas. I better check to see if Uncle Albert found a way to keep the Christmas spirit alive all year."

So I put on my boots and buttoned up my jacket. I dashed out the door.

I came back into the house to put on a scarf. And some gloves. And a hat. And my long-johns. I filled up the thermos with hot chocolate and dug out a pair of ear muffs. "Yup. That's the Christmas spirit," I thought as I headed out once more, trying to keep my head above the snow.

When I reached Uncle Albert's, I could tell something was different. I wasn't sure quite what, but I suspect it had something to do with the large red and gold sleigh parked in his driveway.

"Say, Uncle Albert. What's with the sleigh?"

"You like it, Happy Guy? That's part of my Christmas spirit," he enthused.

"It is?"

"Of course. Riding in a one-horse open sleigh. Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? All that shtick." he smiled.

"You think that's how to keep the Christmas spirit alive all year?"

"That's just the beginning," he said as he lit up a candle. "I've cancelled my electricity."

"But why?"

"Have you ever heard of a Christmas carol with electricity?" Uncle Albert asked. "No. You hear about Christmas carols by candlelight, about silver bells, boughs of holly, all sorts of nostalgic stuff from the days when General Electric hired mice to turn the wheels of power."

I looked around for a Christmas tree. "So why no Christmas tree? Is that too modern for you?"

"Only the plastic kind," he said. "They keep dying on me. I was probably feeding them too much sheep manure. Anyway, I decorated the one out front."

"But you don't have a tree out front, Uncle Albert."

"Right there," he pointed. "Across the street. Hey Wilson! Stop blowing out my candles!"

"You lit candles on your neighbor's tree?"

"Ha! A lot of good that will do me," Uncle Albert sighed. "You would think the ingrate would appreciate a little Christmas spirit now and then. Hey Wilson! Get some Christmas spirit, you overgrown porcupine pimple!"

"Maybe some people don't want the Christmas spirit all year 'round?"

"Don't be silly, Happy Guy. Everybody wishes it to each other," he replied. "May the Christmas spirit last all year. But it never does. You know why?"

"I'm afraid I am about to find out."

"Because nobody wants to do all those things they sing so nostalgically about," he harrumphed.

"Maybe we just need some new Christmas carols. Instead of trying to make reality fit the songs, why not sing songs that fit reality?"

"Funny you should mention that," Uncle Albert exclaimed. "I wrote one just the other day. Want to hear it?"


"Here comes another Yule, let's spend like a fool. Push 'n' shove at the store, to buy even more. Light up the lights, there'll be no star in sight. Turn up the furnace, this world we will burn it. Chop down a tree, chop another down with glee. Wilson is a grump, such a whiny chump. (Like the personal touch?) This year let's all cheer it, Whoo! I love this Christmas spirit. "

"That's very original," I observed. "I am sure there must be a market for just such a song...somewhere."

"That's what I thought," Uncle Albert beamed. "Heh, heh. This could even make me rich, rich rich! Ha! Take that, Wilson."

"That's the Christmas spirit, Uncle Albert."

About The Author

The author is David Leonhardt. Sign up for his weekly satire column up at or read more columns at . Or visit his home page at

The Origin of the Christmas Tree

Have you ever wondered why we decorate a tree for Christmas? What sense does it... Read More

Survival Kit for the Holidays: Grace, Gratitude and Random Acts Of Kindness

If you*re like me, the holidays always have a way of sneaking in. And -... Read More

Jewelry Christmas Gifts That Sparkle and Shine

The joyous season of Christmas is steeped in tradition, and gift giving is one ritual... Read More

Holiday Candy Canes Are Festive and Fun

Candy canes are everyone's favorite holiday treat. Just think about how versatile they are. Not... Read More

Memorial Day a way to Celebrate

Memorial Day is May 30th this year, are you ready? Are you in need of... Read More

Sweet 16th Birthday Party Ideas

Is there any party more delightful than sweet 16? If you're stuck for 16th birthday... Read More

Top Ten Tips To A Terrific Valentine?s Day - For Women in Relationships

So Valentine's Day is upon us yet again, and most of us want to be... Read More

The Holiday Army

Here it comes again - the Holiday Army - in its annual march against us.... Read More

Texas Exotic Hunting

Texas Exotic Hunting is a popular sport in this state. Hog hunting in Texas and... Read More

Christmas Gifts For Bird Lovers

Choosing gifts for any animal lovers can be quite a pleasure, as it is often... Read More

10 Stress Free Tips to Pamper Mom This Mothers Day

Mothers Day is the day we set aside each year to show appreciation to our... Read More

Funny Couples Costume Ideas For Halloween

Tired of the same old typical Halloween costumes. You know the ones?.vampire, witch, or mummy.... Read More

Fitness Tips On How To Avoid Gaining Weight During The Holiday Season

This holiday season don't be trendy ? avoid the Seasonal Seven (the average weight most... Read More

Christmas Decorating Ideas - Edible Ornaments

Although it is now more decades away than I care to admit too often, there... Read More

Fourth of July Quotes

MADRID ? For millions of Americans, this Fourth of July will be a time of... Read More

Corporate Holiday Gift Ideas Start With a Possibilities List

Plan ahead this year for your corporate clients and associates holiday gifts.Now is the time... Read More

A Diamond Christmas 2004!

When Archduke Maximillian of Austria bestowed a diamond ring on Mary of Burgundy in 1477,... Read More

Successful Holiday Gift Giving Starts with a Plan

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and the clock is ticking down as... Read More

Find Your Favorite Swashbuckling Pirate Costume!

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" If you have seen the movie... Read More

Celebrate Parks Day, Everyday this Summer!

Canada's Parks Day falls on July 16'th this year. First celebrated in 1990, Parks Day... Read More

It?s Time to Start Thinking about Mothers Day

Mother's Day is approaching fast. This year it falls on Sunday, May 8th, so you... Read More

Experience Mothers Day In A Whole New Way

Mother's Day is the day when sons, daughters and husbands buy gifts and flowers to... Read More

Aran... Where the Sweaters Come From

Aran Sweaters. The Aran sweater takes its name from the islands from where it originated,... Read More

10 Steps to a Relaxing Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday! Family, friends, good food ? and no presents to buy.... Read More

Cashless Gifts

Sometimes gifts that are truly from your heart have no cash value. But the value... Read More

Greeting Card Tango: How To Impress, Not Stress, During The Holidays

When it comes to holiday greeting cards, to send or not to send is often... Read More

Mothers Day: 5 Gift Ideas Guaranteed To Make Any New Mom Happy

Sure, you can call it a Hallmark holiday. But don't be fooled: Mother's Day is... Read More

Mothers Day Shopping Ideas

Do you know a Mom who needs to be thanked for the tireless effort she... Read More

Holiday Dieting: A Sweet Way To Cheat!

If your diet is making you a humbug this season, there's some good news. Turns... Read More

5 Most Popular Styles of Christmas Ornaments

Traditionally Christmas ornaments were bulbs of all the same color which were placed randomly throughout... Read More

Jewelry As A Father?s Day Gift

It is widely known that many men enjoy fine jewelry. So, why not present Dad... Read More

The Spirit of Fathers Day

Some time ago I received a gift from both of my children. It was spontaneous... Read More

How to Make a Gift Basket

Gift Baskets are an ideal gift for nearly any occasion. Gift baskets provide a convenient... Read More

Magical Plants of Christmas

Most of the plants we associate with the holiday season are from Europe or the... Read More

Decorate for Christmas

It's your home/your apartment and you want to make it a special sanctuary this Christmas.... Read More

The Rose

Lifestyle is style over amount. And style is an art - the art of living.... Read More

Outdoor Halloween Decorations

Few things are more thrilling for a trick-or-treater than walking up to a house detailed... Read More

The Bloated Bar Mitzvah Celebration: 6 Ways to Take It Back

Bar Mitzvah celebrations have grown exponentially in size and scope in the past twenty years.That's... Read More

15 Ways to Create Some Extra Holiday Money

Originally this was going to be a list for my two teenagers but some of... Read More

Cornucopia Centerpiece for Thanksgiving Day

As we enter into the month of November my thoughts turn towards Thanksgiving and everything... Read More

Holiday Survival Guide

The Holiday season has officially begun and Christmas is almost here. This is the time... Read More

Ten Ways To Make The Holidays Easier Next Year

What does your holiday season usually look like -- a lot of rushing around at... Read More

Low On Cash For Christmas? Try Gifts in a Jar

Time is money, and right now you don't have either the time or the money... Read More

Memorial Day Flowers

Monday, May 30th is Memorial Day. Your local florist can provide fresh or silk flowers... Read More

Its Never Too Early To Shop For Christmas

Every year we go through the same process of making our list of people we... Read More

Advantages of Online Greeting Cards Over Paper Cards - Part I

After some recent reports it seems that 90% of all people buy many greeting cards.... Read More

Valentines Day - A Guide for Men

Did you know that after Christmas, Valentine's Day is the biggest retail holiday? That means... Read More

Fathers Day Gift Guide

Fathers Day is the one day of the year when you can really show your... Read More

Spend More Time With Your Family This Holiday Season: Host A Caroling Party

Too often we forgo entertaining because of the mere thought of all of the preparation... Read More

No Paws from Santa Claus

The Holidays are coming and children have thought long and hard about the gifts they... Read More