Is Your Baggage Holding You Back?

Here you are single again and ready to re-enter the big scary world of dating, and like most everyone, you bring along "baggage". We all have it; some more than others, however, now is the time to analyze the necessity of that baggage in your new life. No one is exempt. You may have childhood angst over paternal divorce, conflicts with friends and family, or remorse over missteps and lost opportunities. Everyone has a history and an emotional response to it. What matters, when it comes to being a healthy, thriving human being, is whether or not you have deliberately unpacked your baggage.

As you delve into this new world, think about your life and the events that put you back into the dating world. Maybe it was divorce, a death or the end of a relationship, all very traumatic events in our lives, but if you are ready to move on with your life, you must put aside the unnecessary "baggage". Deal with your grief from whatever situation and prepare your mind and heart to accept love and happiness again.

Keep in mind that although someone might say to you "tell me what happened", guess what? They really do not want to know your life history, simple and to the point is enough information. People are generally nice regardless of what you say and yes, it can keep the conversation flowing, but keep in mind the more you say about the "baggage", you are not creating any sympathy, but merely bringing feelings back to the surface. If the wounds have not completely healed, take steps to resolve the issues that cripple you emotionally and move into a happy and emotionally well-balanced life.

This can be approached in various degrees. While we all have our own way of dealing with our emotional baggage, sometimes it is more than one can bear on their own. Seek out the counsel of your family, clergy or a counselor to help you confront and deal with the issues that are holding you back. By all means to do not sink into seclusion, come out of the darkness, join a health club, take a yoga class and never forget the power of prayer. Expose the issues; sometimes in order to get beyond your past, you sometimes need to get into your past, what went wrong, why did it happen, explore what you are feeling, is it anger, resentment or just simply a broken heart?

We do not want to hear about your ex, how badly they treated you, ran up your phone bill, and cleared out your bank account or the things that were wrong with them. Know what this tells someone? You are not over it, you are still angry and hurt and certainly "not emotionally available". You need to face these issues head on and let go of them before considering new beginnings. Deal with your emotions, feelings, and move forward thus unpacking the excess baggage.

Realize and accept your situation and its circumstances, when it is over, take the time to grieve and deal with your feelings and then set them aside, clear your mind and your heart of all obstructions and embark on your new journey with a clean slate.

In conversations with someone new, tell them about yourself, what you like to do, what are your passions, your goals in life, your job, your children, your pets or anything that is a positive, and forget about the negative. Let me tell you this, you let that negativity creep back in and you are going to be sitting home alone watching sappy movies and crying over lost love when you could be enjoying the world that is there to be explored.

So, unpack your bags and put the unnecessary items away! Store the baggage, be it emotional, physical or human, you no longer have any need for it. Seek the new horizon ahead of you, the happiness that awaits you and the satisfaction of knowing that what you have to offer another person is the greatest of all gifts, but let that gift be of you, your present and your future, the past done, time to begin anew.

Remember?..always travel light.

Linda Reeves is a 47 year old advice columnist who writes for Cupids Blackbook a free dating site on the web. She Lives in the American midwest.

No More Desperation Dating

When you think about what you find attractive in a person, what comes to mind?... Read More

How to Get the Girl You Want: The Attraction Killer to Avoid and Some Strategies for Success

It's one of the supreme tragedies in life. When there's just one girl you want,... Read More

Why Online Dating is So Tough For Men

Online dating has become increasingly popular over the past several years. Every year millions of... Read More

Dear Soulmate

Dear Soulmate,Where are you?? It seems as if I have been searching for you my... Read More

7 Habits of Highly Successful Dating

1) Don't look at other womenWhile dating, focus your attention on your date and make... Read More

What To Put On A Dating Site Profile And What To Leave Out

Your dating site profile is the most important tool you have to find love online-and... Read More

Dating a Non Christian

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?... Read More

Are You Dating a Potential Cheater?

Most single woman seeking a committed relationship would rather avoid dating men who are likely... Read More

Does Online Dating Work?

Dating Online is currently the Internets biggest craze, and its here to stay! But does... Read More

Reading People: Body Language Briefing

Body language is the meaning behind the words or the "unspoken" language. Surprisingly, studies show... Read More

Internet Dating Tips for Beginners

There are lots of Internet dating sites available. Some are completely free and others are... Read More

Quality Adult Personals

Quality adult personals are becoming harder to find these days. The recent growth in the... Read More

True Love And Chemistry: Exploring Myth And Reality

When you think about the qualities found in a true "soul mate" relationship, what one... Read More

Online Dating - Confidence Builder

Most of us have different levels of confidence. I'm sure you have met a variety... Read More

Hes So Not Into You

These are words women don't want to hear when they're in a relationship. Unfortunately these... Read More

A Nice Guys Guide to Dating Success

Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever had the experience of liking a... Read More

Who Says Online Datings Only For Losers?

I let that friend talk me into browsing some pictures on one of the more... Read More

Meeting Women: Surefire Spots To Get Dates

The first thing I want to do immediately is to give you a CONCRETE, STEP... Read More

Dating Sites Are Bringing Millions Of Singles Together For Quality Online Relationships

It's amazing how dating sites are helping over a million single men and women establish... Read More

Love Discrimination

Why is it people, especially the media, thinks that looking for love on the internet... Read More

A Dating Story From My Youth

One of my first "Big Dates" was a Cotillion dance in 8th grade...or was it... Read More

How to Flirt and Never Get Rejected!

When it comes to flirting, you can get your point across very easily just using... Read More

Selecting an Online Dating Site

So you are thinking of giving online dating a try yourself. Here are some tips... Read More

Use The Power of Focus When You Want To Get A Date

The Importance of FocusPeople are always looking for ways to win over somebody they are... Read More

5 Signs Why He Wont Leave His Wife

LadiesYes, we all have a friend who is or has been involved with a married... Read More

Looking To Join A Dating Site?

Searching the web for a dating or personals site can leave one very confused. There... Read More

Tips for Creating a Successful Personal Online Dating Profile

Your profile is the key to meeting your perfect match at online dating and personals... Read More

How To Find A Dating Web Site That Is Right For You Today Starting From Scratch

So at last you're sick and tired of the bar scene, and now you want... Read More

Online Dating Service! Is Matchmaking On The Internet Right For You?

Online dating service! Is it right for you? That would be the question if you're... Read More

How to Tell if a Single Woman is Really Interested in You

It's very important to learn how a single woman acts, speaks, and uses body language... Read More

Attract the Love of Your Life

Have you heard about the technique Olympic athletes use to help them win gold medals?In... Read More

Dating Rules - Dress Nicely

Wear good clothes, e.g. a good shirt and a tie. Probably you should ask some... Read More

Online Dating Safety

Online dating safety warning signs.Online dating is a brilliant and increasingly popular way to meet... Read More

How to Get More Responses at Online Dating Sites

So, you've decided to join a dating website. You're hoping someone out there will find... Read More

Online Dating - 8 Sizzling Tips To Make Your Profile Standout!

We know one of the hardest part of creating your profile is describing yourself to... Read More

1 Step You Should Take to Alleviate Anxiety When Meeting Women

Has a similar scenario like this one ever happened to you before?You've met a pretty... Read More

Should You Go on a Dating Hiatus?

Sometimes we need a hiatus from dating. A "hiatus" is a break in something that... Read More

Dating: How & Where To Meet Single, Alluring, Sexy & Beautiful Women Of Your Dreams

Are you a lonely man?When was the last time you went out on date with... Read More

The Magic of Flirting

Flirting is the way most people determine whether or not a member of the opposite... Read More

Dating in a Modern World

As the UK Online Dating market keeps on growing day by day, there is more... Read More

Ways to Say I Love You in Another Language

Have you been looking for romantic and provocative ways to say "I Love You" to... Read More

How To Gain Her Trust From The Start

For a woman to have sex with a guy, she must not only be attracted... Read More

Creating a Great Online Dating Profile

First impressions are important, which is why it is essential to create an appealing, but... Read More

Do You Desire Love and Marriage? How Should You Prepare Yourself?

The rate of new love and marriages is rising as fast as the divorce rate.... Read More

Things To Avoid At Your First Date

Finally, after a year of mending a broken heart, you come out of your shell... Read More

How to Impress a Woman

The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually comes along with another feeling:... Read More

Finding Your Dream Date Sometimes Takes Guts!

My husband and I used to live in NYC. WE would often take dog for... Read More

What Do You Do on Valentines Day When You Have 1000 Girlfriends!

Valentine's Day was initially an outgrowth of an ancient Roman festival honoring the goddess Juno,... Read More

Online Dating Tips - Five Steps to Creating Your Profile

Creating your online dating profile is an aspect often commonly overlooked by online daters. You... Read More

Online Dating for Beginners

There are many online dating sites, all of them require you to be at least... Read More