Is Your Baggage Holding You Back?

Here you are single again and ready to re-enter the big scary world of dating, and like most everyone, you bring along "baggage". We all have it; some more than others, however, now is the time to analyze the necessity of that baggage in your new life. No one is exempt. You may have childhood angst over paternal divorce, conflicts with friends and family, or remorse over missteps and lost opportunities. Everyone has a history and an emotional response to it. What matters, when it comes to being a healthy, thriving human being, is whether or not you have deliberately unpacked your baggage.

As you delve into this new world, think about your life and the events that put you back into the dating world. Maybe it was divorce, a death or the end of a relationship, all very traumatic events in our lives, but if you are ready to move on with your life, you must put aside the unnecessary "baggage". Deal with your grief from whatever situation and prepare your mind and heart to accept love and happiness again.

Keep in mind that although someone might say to you "tell me what happened", guess what? They really do not want to know your life history, simple and to the point is enough information. People are generally nice regardless of what you say and yes, it can keep the conversation flowing, but keep in mind the more you say about the "baggage", you are not creating any sympathy, but merely bringing feelings back to the surface. If the wounds have not completely healed, take steps to resolve the issues that cripple you emotionally and move into a happy and emotionally well-balanced life.

This can be approached in various degrees. While we all have our own way of dealing with our emotional baggage, sometimes it is more than one can bear on their own. Seek out the counsel of your family, clergy or a counselor to help you confront and deal with the issues that are holding you back. By all means to do not sink into seclusion, come out of the darkness, join a health club, take a yoga class and never forget the power of prayer. Expose the issues; sometimes in order to get beyond your past, you sometimes need to get into your past, what went wrong, why did it happen, explore what you are feeling, is it anger, resentment or just simply a broken heart?

We do not want to hear about your ex, how badly they treated you, ran up your phone bill, and cleared out your bank account or the things that were wrong with them. Know what this tells someone? You are not over it, you are still angry and hurt and certainly "not emotionally available". You need to face these issues head on and let go of them before considering new beginnings. Deal with your emotions, feelings, and move forward thus unpacking the excess baggage.

Realize and accept your situation and its circumstances, when it is over, take the time to grieve and deal with your feelings and then set them aside, clear your mind and your heart of all obstructions and embark on your new journey with a clean slate.

In conversations with someone new, tell them about yourself, what you like to do, what are your passions, your goals in life, your job, your children, your pets or anything that is a positive, and forget about the negative. Let me tell you this, you let that negativity creep back in and you are going to be sitting home alone watching sappy movies and crying over lost love when you could be enjoying the world that is there to be explored.

So, unpack your bags and put the unnecessary items away! Store the baggage, be it emotional, physical or human, you no longer have any need for it. Seek the new horizon ahead of you, the happiness that awaits you and the satisfaction of knowing that what you have to offer another person is the greatest of all gifts, but let that gift be of you, your present and your future, the past done, time to begin anew.

Remember?..always travel light.

Linda Reeves is a 47 year old advice columnist who writes for Cupids Blackbook a free dating site on the web. She Lives in the American midwest.

Personal Values and Christian Dating

Personal values is an important point when it comes to Christian dating. Being a Christian... Read More

A guide for being single in Mimasaka, Okayama Prefecture

"A Tsuyama singles scene?" scoffs single Mimasaka resident Hiroyiki Matsuda. "There isn't one. If you... Read More

Dating Tips: How to Get Yourself A Date

Well, if you didn't give that someone a bad impression of yourself, chances are, both... Read More

Love Eluding You? Let Go and It May Find You

How many times have you heard someone say it was when they weren't looking for... Read More

Men On Dating- Timing, Turn-offs and Keepers

Dear Relationship Coach-"We met online and seemed to hit it off right from the start.... Read More

Adult Personals ? Fulfilling Your Fantasies Through Adult Dating Websites

People are talking about adult personals. There's no doubt about it. As regular dating sites... Read More

Creating a Great Online Dating Profile

First impressions are important, which is why it is essential to create an appealing, but... Read More

Dating Advice: Should You Play With Madness?

I have a friend with a big problem, a guy who needs good dating advice... Read More

8 Minute Dating - For Singles with No Time for Small Talk

You will get to a certain age where, no matter what city code you live... Read More

A Real Man

Something I find 100% humor in is the fact that men are so quick to... Read More

What Do You Do on Valentines Day When You Have 1000 Girlfriends!

Valentine's Day was initially an outgrowth of an ancient Roman festival honoring the goddess Juno,... Read More

Dating Tips: Creating The Perfect Atmosphere

Had you ever been in the situation where your heart suddenly beats so fast, losing... Read More

Love Discrimination

Why is it people, especially the media, thinks that looking for love on the internet... Read More

Have You Tried Online Dating, Only to be Disappointed?

Millions of people subscribe to Online dating services, but very few of them actually take... Read More

How To Write A Successful Personal Ad

No one would know how good you are if you would not let them know... Read More

Online Dating Beginners Quiz

Free dating online-you've heard about it, you've read about it, maybe you even have a... Read More

10 Keys to Getting Along With Single Women For Successful Dating, Seduction

1. When with a woman on a date, under no circumstances whatsoever, look at and... Read More

8 Steps to Scoring Big in a Bar

If you're single, you've probably gone to a singles bar at some point in your... Read More

Dumb Dating Mistakes Men Make with Women

Do you strike out with single women in the romance department no matter what you... Read More

5 Mistakes Men Make On The First Date

The number one mistake made by men on the first date is trying to buy... Read More

If You Want A Date, Promote Yourself!

How to find a date? Promote yourself! That's one of the key you should consider.... Read More

Using the Internet as a Method for Adult Dating

In this day and age, many find it hard to find someone that can share... Read More

Do Men Want Classy Women?

Ladies, this one is for you. Your mother always told you "Don't give away the... Read More

Does No mean Yes?

A recent sexual assault on our campus was a wake-up call to those who thought... Read More

Relationship Red Flags You Shouldnt Avoid

All relationships are clearly not meant to be. Only a few really deserve your time... Read More

Donald Trump and the Apprentice Rules Applied to Dating

I was reading an article about the Apprentice and some of the rules that Donald... Read More

1000 Proof Liquor

Each and every woman is an actress in their own way, and many of the... Read More

The Dating Game

With all the websites on the Internet that offer a membership to meet and talk... Read More

Too Ugly? Too Short? Heres How To Turn Your Flaws Into Strengths

If you're worried and upset about your physical flaws, which prevent you from attracting women,... Read More

Meeting Your Online Date in Safety

Here are some common sense safety tips for meeting your online date in person. Your... Read More

Six Things Every Christian Single Should Know Before Dating Online (Part One)

Years ago, online dating had a reputation that was less than desirable. But today, that... Read More

He Was Either The Most Romantic Man In The World - Or A Complete Idiot

Heather had been dating Ben for a little over two months. She quite enjoyed his... Read More

Dating Tips from Hollywood

Halle Berry voted as one of the most beautiful women in the world is twice... Read More

The Theory of Scarcity in Dating

Familiar with the economics theory of scarcity ? Here's a simple way to illustrate the... Read More

How To Repel The Opposite Sex

There is a war between the sexes. This war is based on a misunderstanding. The... Read More

Dating Online in Safety

Dating online can be great fun, stimulating and exciting. So let's first get it into... Read More

Why Date Someone You Wouldnt Have As Your Friend?

Sometimes in dating we so often settle for people that we would not normally have... Read More

Dont Procrastinate when It Comes to Meeting Single Women

Has this ever happened to you? You're at a bar or nightclub and you see... Read More

Creating An Effective Personals Ad That Gets Results: Dos and Donts

Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes. Think of this as creating... Read More

The Five Worst Date Places

Food in teeth, nausea, childhood stories and exposing your pot belly are all things you... Read More

Tips For Becoming Fluent In The Non-Verbal Language Of Dating

We are all too familiar with the term "body language". There have been ... Read More

Top 10 reasons to Find a Date Online

I'm often surprised by the number of people who are unsure if online dating is... Read More

Quality Adult Personals

Quality adult personals are becoming harder to find these days. The recent growth in the... Read More

Body Language

Next to your internal mindset (which should be relaxed, confident, and sexual), body language is... Read More

5 Signs Why He Wont Leave His Wife

LadiesYes, we all have a friend who is or has been involved with a married... Read More

Still Single for the Holidays? Lucky You!

Oh, no! Christmas, Hanukah, and New Year's Eve are coming, and you're still not dating... Read More

Find Reputable Internet Dating Services That Want To Earn Your Trust

Internet dating services are popping up online like dandelions in the spring, and sometimes for... Read More

Looking To Join A Dating Site?

Searching the web for a dating or personals site can leave one very confused. There... Read More

Pick-Up Lines That Work

Most pick-up lines don't work because they are trite, cheesy, and closed-ended statements. Others don't... Read More

Faster, Cheaper, Better ­ P2P Online Dating Software

There is one thing we all know for certain when it comes to the internet.... Read More