Creating An Effective Personals Ad That Gets Results: Dos and Donts

Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes. Think of this as creating your personal resume. Many of the online systems provide a multiple choice matching along with an essay. After someone finds you with a "match", it is your essay portion that can make you shine. It is crucial to fill out the essay completely, with at least 2 or three sentences per question asked. You can come back to the essay later on many systems. You will spend 45 minutes to an hour filling this out. People who do not fill out the essay are not taking seriously and get passed on for other profiles that are more forthcoming. Be honest in your ad.

What to write about? Describe yourself honestly and accurately. Include hard data such as your height, weight, body type, educational background and profession. Show your personality. Talk about your hobbies, interests, activities you enjoy, movies, books, or music you enjoy, where you like to travel, and minimally about your work (do not give your place of employment....keep it general such as: I am a nurse at a local clinic, an accountant with a medium size company, etc). Don't share too much information or write a book.....just write enough to get them interested. You have to leave something to talk about later.

Share your feelings and experiences, not just facts about your life. You don't want your profile to be a touchy-feely pile of mush (can you hear your potential dates heading for the door?), but you do want to communicate things people can relate to: where you're from, where you are, where you're going in life, what makes you laugh, things you really enjoy about life. DON'T fixate on only one aspect of your life: You may love your dog, have a great career, live to ski, and those are great things to talk about in your profile. But if you talk about that and only that, you're going to come off as one-dimensional and obsessed. Show your fully rounded self. Put your personality and humor into what you write. Tell what you are like, and don't try to make false impressions. False impressions will back fire in the online dating arena as much as they will in the rest of your life. Relax, and let your true self show through. There are people who will like who you are.

Don't dwell on your problems and limitations: This is not the place to talk about why you got divorced, your last relationship didn't work out, or problems at work. You can talk about this later after you get to know someone. If you have children, mention them BRIEFLY with their ages and sex. Do not spend time talking about your children or reveal their names. People are wanting to look at a profile that focuses on YOU, not your immediate family. You can talk about your childcare arrangements and coaching little league soccer, etc later. People looking at your profile want to know you have time for them. Focusing on your children and their activities can give the impression that you will have limited time.

What you are looking for: Think about who you are and what you are looking for. To make friends? Fall in love? Meet someone to hang out with? Do you want something short term or long term? Do you just want to chat with? (Ex. I am looking for a cultured man between 32-45 who is a Christian, attends church, college educated, and is into opera and gallery hopping). (Ex. Looking for a down to earth gal between 22-30 that likes the country, camping, country music, country dancing and NASCAR). Don't say that you are looking for the love of your life and want to get married....this will scare a lot of people away. Its good idea to state the general type of person you are hoping to meet, but don't overdo it. If you set down too many requirements you will miss out on the opportunity to meet some great people, and quite possibly the one that is just right for you.

Words to Use and Avoid:

Good Words: Affectionate, Likes to cuddle, interested in a committed relationship, sensitive, great cook, romantic, caring, monogamous, down to earth, looking for best friend, educated, sophisticated, loving, generous, cute, reliable, my colleagues describe me as handsome, great legs, petite, curvaceous, hourglass figure, gentleman.

Words to Avoid: Some of the bad stuff I have seen in ads. (On some systems, you will get terminated using some of this language whether in your profile or in an email). These guys have read too many Penthouse magazines and need to look in the alternative personals. Here is what NOT to put in a personal on a regular/metro site: Well hung, great in bed, I'd love to satisfy you, sexually insatiable, animal, great lover, oral, fuck, blow, make love, erotic, uninhibited and any other sexual words. This stuff is SCARY to most women and runs them off.You can tweak and improve your profile as you go along.

Tweaking your profile: If you're getting the type of responses you're looking for, great. If you're getting responses from the wrong types of people or not getting as many responses as you'd like, then review your profile and think about how you can improve it and make yourself shine a little bit more. Most matchmaking systems have a place for you to edit your essay and parts of your ad. Take a look at it at least every couple of weeks.

How to search for a new friend: Each matchmaking system has different ways of searching for compatible profiles. Some have several ways. Typically these are MATCH, SEARCH, FIND, and some allow you to make a Search Profile that you can reuse. You can search by location, ideal height and weight, ethnic background -- even by interest in having kids in the future.

A high percentage on a multiple choice match is a good start but read the answers and look at the essay. The percentages may be great but then the profile might be someone who sounds desperate and lonely, is someone just looking for sex or has totally different interests and values.

If there is a photo, look at the photo and remember that the photo can be one taken yesterday or 5 years ago. Unless the person is down right unappealing, remember that amateur/family photos don't always make a person look their best. Look for profiles that match your ideal characteristics but also hit you the right way -- do the writers sound funny? Intellectual? Love animals as much as you do? Like to travel?

Posting Photos: It is up to you to post a photo. You will increase your response rate TEN TIMES by posting a photo. People want to see who they are writing to, and many don't want to start a correspondence and waste time with someone that they don't know if there is even a initial attraction from a photo. If you want a lot of responses, you'd better have a picture. From my experience, and from what I've heard from others, it seems that people who don't have pictures of themselves are usually hiding something. So, if you don't have a picture, people are going to assume you look like a dog. If you are a high profile person in the city you live, offer in your profile to exchange photos from your personal (yahoo or hotmail, not your real email address). Make sure you put an accurate description of what you look like in your profile. You may want to say what celebrity you closely resemble.

People who say they don't have a photo or don't have a way to get one on line are either lazy or playing games. If you don't have a scanner at home or work, take a photo to KINKO's (they are everywhere). Have your photo or photos scanned in a .jpg format. Most matchmaking systems do not allow you to send the zip files or unusable formats. Typically .jpg, .gif, and .bmp is the limit and they must be sized down. Photos should have a shirt on, clearly show your face (no sunglasses), well lit, no swimwear (except for secondary shots) and no family in your primary photo. Make sure you are smiling in the photo. (Who wants to meet someone who looks angry and glum). Many companies allow secondary shots that have your family and friends in the photos as long as you are in the photo. Don't use a photo in which you're dressed too revealingly -- you want to look elegant and alluring, but a picture of you in a bikini is going to attract the wrong kind of responses.

What should you not send? You car, house, boat, photos of your kids or friends by themselves, photos where your face is the size of a pencil head, photos with your ex, dark shots, anything revealing, etc. Send your best photos. Remember, FIRST IMPRESSIONS may be your only chance. Your most recent photo of you camping (once in 5 years) with the ball cap on may leave a the impression that you don't want others to have. Again, think in terms of a resume. How would you want an employer to first see you? (Dressed nicely with your hair perfect). Ex. A good mix would be primary photo in a business suit or polo shirt, secondary photo out rock climbing with friends, third photo with two nephews at XMAS.

Out of Town or Unable to Answer email? Members of matchmaking systems expect responses to their emails quickly. If you can't answer emails for a week or two, edit your profile and at the top of the essay say "I will be out of town for "x time frame" and will not have access to email. Please ear mark my profile and write me back at "x time frame" and I will be happy to respond when I return." This is especially important during the summer months when people are on vacation and during holidays.

Anna Winters is a writer for www.Singlesonthego.com, the largest singles groups, singles events and activities website helping 500,000 plus readers monthly find singles in their city.

Hes So Not Into You

These are words women don't want to hear when they're in a relationship. Unfortunately these... Read More

Have You Lost That Loving Feeling?

Would you like to discover Easy and Creative ideas to enhance & create romance !... Read More

Online Dating Tips For Success

So the search for the perfect relationship is tuff. You have tried the grocery market,... Read More

Dating Mistakes

Dating mistakes can kill a dating relationship. Do you know what dating mistakes you have... Read More

The Avenger v/s The Angel

I'm writing this for women and for men. I have to share this with you... Read More

How to Find the Background of Your Online Date

The popularity of online dating has increased dramatically over the past few years. While most... Read More

Dos and Donts for Men on Dating Sites

Men, learn how to behave on dating and personals sites.Being a man and also being... Read More

Dating Tips: Share a Little More Personal on Yourself

Have you been dating for a long time but felt that something is still lacking... Read More

Mens Guide To Online Dating Success. Secret Seduction Tips Revealed!

Looking To Meet Women? Craving Female Company?Well, you've come to the right place! The internet... Read More

Dating: How & Where To Meet Single, Alluring, Sexy & Beautiful Women Of Your Dreams

Are you a lonely man?When was the last time you went out on date with... Read More

Life isnt Sex and the City

A couple of weeks ago, I watched a Sex and the City episode, in which... Read More

Does Internet Dating Work?

What's the Number One Question that Everyone Asks About CyberDating?Everyone -- and that included YOU!... Read More

Single Sites Are A Great Tool To Network And Develop Fun And Spontaneous Relationships Online

If you're tired of the boring and repetitive local dating scenes, then you should consider... Read More

Single Women Are Hot

Just when businesses and advertisers think they have women all figured out enters a new... Read More

What is Confident Rapport?

The majority of theories on how to pick up girls were compiled by guys who... Read More

Fatal Flaws- How to Have a Happy Relationship and Keep Your Values Intact

If you are knee deep in trying to find a relationship, maintain or sustain a... Read More

10 Keys to Getting Along With Single Women For Successful Dating, Seduction

1. When with a woman on a date, under no circumstances whatsoever, look at and... Read More

The Cyber Lothario

Are you writing to someone who is romancing you off your feet? Does this guy... Read More

How To Have A Successful Conversation With Any Woman!

To have a successful conversation with any woman you must know what to say, and... Read More

Male and Swinging Single

As a single male trying to enter into the lifestyle successfully, I am sure you... Read More

Top Ten Ways to Get Yourself Ready for Dating

1) So what's it gonna be?Decide on your attitude ? a positive attitude can make... Read More

Good Places to Meet Excellent Men

So, you're convinced that you have zero opportunities to meet men.Are you stuck in an... Read More

Dating Mistakes

Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you realize that very often we... Read More

Ways to Say I Love You in Another Language

Have you been looking for romantic and provocative ways to say "I Love You" to... Read More

How to Get Over an Ex When You?re Still In Love

1. First, put yourself in the opposite position: If YOU didn't want to be with... Read More

E-Love at Easter! Part One

Kiki sat on the park bench, staring ruefully at the passers by. Last night's row... Read More

The Joy Of Dating Again: Self-Empowering Keys

For some, the idea of dating again can be intimidating or even scary. For others,... Read More

Online Dating

The online dating world today can be a confusing place to be. As more people... Read More

Online Dating - 5 Essential Safety Tips

So, you've decided to take the plunge and follow in the footsteps of countless other... Read More

COMING SOON??Online Attractions

In my attempts to find the love of my life, I knew that they were... Read More

Does Online Dating Work?

Dating Online is currently the Internets biggest craze, and its here to stay! But does... Read More

The Deal Breakers

Deal Breakers. Everyone's got them. You know: the instant turn-offs that can turn a romantic... Read More

Blind Date

Very few singles have ever gone through life without having a friend, relative or coworker... Read More

Online Dating Tips for the Digital Age of Romance

We are romantic creatures. We are social creatures. With these two elements sharing our genetic... Read More

How To Find A Dating Web Site That Is Right For You Today Starting From Scratch

So at last you're sick and tired of the bar scene, and now you want... Read More

A Real Man

Something I find 100% humor in is the fact that men are so quick to... Read More

Cut Cupid Some Slack

Valentine's Day!What a great idea to set aside a day for remembering those we love.... Read More

If You Want A Date, Promote Yourself!

How to find a date? Promote yourself! That's one of the key you should consider.... Read More

How To Find a Great Dating Partner and Have Fun Looking

Internet dating can be great fun for you. It is an easy and painless way... Read More

Why Attractive Women Meet Me Online..

Why attractive women meet men online.It's a common question that any men ask themselves when... Read More

Adult Personals ? Fulfilling Your Fantasies Through Adult Dating Websites

People are talking about adult personals. There's no doubt about it. As regular dating sites... Read More

The Best Way to Pick Up a Girl

You see her across the room. Ah, so attractive. But nobody to introduce her to... Read More

Why Date Someone You Wouldnt Have As Your Friend?

Sometimes in dating we so often settle for people that we would not normally have... Read More

Love Eluding You? Let Go and It May Find You

How many times have you heard someone say it was when they weren't looking for... Read More

How a Blind Date Can Increase Your Psychic Abilities

So how can a blind date increase your psychic abilities? It's probably not what you're... Read More

Do Men Want Classy Women?

Ladies, this one is for you. Your mother always told you "Don't give away the... Read More

Love Discrimination

Why is it people, especially the media, thinks that looking for love on the internet... Read More

Compatibility

Harsh words, hurting comments, tears and flying household objects - for sure, no one ever... Read More

The Law of Large Numbers

It is often said that sales is a numbers game. The more people we contact,... Read More

What To Put On A Dating Site Profile And What To Leave Out

Your dating site profile is the most important tool you have to find love online-and... Read More