Making The Connection: Tips For Getting Noticed

Chances are that you have had a wide variety of experiences in your quest for meeting singles. These can range from an event that yields several nice interactions and at least one offer to get together for a date, to going home feeling frustrated and convinced you are destined to be a dating failure.

If you had made a note of your mood, your general attitude, your level of comfort, (and other related factors) after each experience, you would have some very useful information. For the attributes you carry along with you to these social gatherings will have a great impact on the outcome of each.

The following are tips for helping you to present the best you to others. As you read each, do a quick inventory of how you rate in that area. It's always helpful to ask friends to weigh in with their observations. The more information, the better.

1. Present yourself as confident and in possession of a healthy self-esteem.

In general, people are attracted to those who appear confident and who feel good about themselves. Certainly, this is a turn-on for you as well. If you feel desirable and sexy, it makes sense that others will too.

If low self-esteem is a problem for you, this should be the first area you work on in yourself. It is not necessary to have over the top confidence, just a sense that you are someone that has a lot of positives to offer others.

Do some reading, take a class that teaches assertiveness and/or practice daily affirmations. Remember also that when you treat yourself with respect and adhere to healthy boundaries with others, you will foster a healthy sense of self.

2.Be Yourself

NEVER try to be someone you are not. Not only do you come across as insincere, you also will present as uncomfortable and make others feel this way right along with you.

Trying to be cool, aggressive, (etc.), generally just makes you awkward and unapproachable. Relax, be natural, be the you that your friends and others who know and like you, see and appreciate.

Think back to the times you have witnessed someone "acting" in a social situation, and the general reaction of those around them. Then think about the people you know who are good at meeting others. These are the people who present their true (best) side.

3. Smile and Show Enthusiasm

Certainly you have encountered strangers who were sullen and appeared negative and unapproachable. A smile can change all that.

Have an open and inviting expression. Make good eye contact. People are DRAWN to others like this. Let that attractive stranger know you are open to meeting them and happy to be there. If they have an interest back, this will pave the way for a first interaction.

If you don't feel like smiling it may be a good idea to sit this one out at home with a movie or a good book or a low-key get together with a good friend.

4. Present Your Best Appearance

Always make your best effort in your grooming and choice of clothing. Attractive is just that. It's not about having beautiful features or a fantastic body. It's all about presenting what you have in the best light possible.

This also includes presenting an attractive personality. Be friendly, not pushy. Be open, not indiscreet. Have opinions, don't be a know-it-all. Always remember to consider others' feelings and needs. These interactions are not just about you.

5. Have Some Good Openings Lines Available

Hint: Natural conversation is best.

Some possible ones to consider:

*Do you know so and so?

*I noticed you were enjoying the music a lot, isn't this a great band?

*Your drink looks good- what is it?

*I noticed you standing here alone and thought you may want some company.

Of course, the direct approach is ok too.

*Hi, I'm so and so, what is your name?

Remember that there are no rules anymore about who goes first. If you see someone who interests you, go for it. Just remember that they may not return your feelings. Then you move away gracefully, look around for someone else that attracts you, and make an overture towards them.

Also remember that rejection is part of the process. If you let the fear keep you from taking that first step, you will greatly lessen your chances of meeting and connecting with compatible singles.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.

How to Finally Approach the Women You Lust for

We've all been there. You have been meeting her accidentally in the hall for a... Read More

Hot Women And Eye Contact

For a while now I've been wondering why some women always make eye contact and... Read More

8 Deadly Dating Mistakes To Avoid!

Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you realize that very often we... Read More

Great Tips For A Safe Online Dating Experience

Dating can be scary no matter how or where you meet. Maybe he hasn't shaved... Read More

Christian Singles: Questions To Keep Your Spirit Alive

With special events like Valentine's Day coming and going each year, I am reminded how... Read More

Looks or Heart?

No matter how you want to spin it, beautiful people are just that, beautiful. However,... Read More

Online Dating - Top Tips for Success!

A few months ago I became single again after a long-term relationship, and decided to... Read More

Dear Soulmate

Dear Soulmate,Where are you?? It seems as if I have been searching for you my... Read More

The Cyber Lothario

Are you writing to someone who is romancing you off your feet? Does this guy... Read More

Do It And They Will Come: Pursuing New Adventures To Find Mr / Ms Right

Are you tired of the whole dating scene? Have you spent many hours (years) going... Read More

Online Dating, Why Not?

So, you're looking to meet that "special someone". You have tried the bars, blind dates,... Read More

Lonely Expats Looking for Valentines Love

Being an expat in a foreign country where you don't speak the language is hard... Read More

Dating Personals! Incredibly Successful, But How Does It Work?

Dating personals offer online dating singles a quick and easy path to quality matchmaking features,... Read More

Healing the Midlife Love Crisis

All I wanted was to fall in love and live happily ever after. The End.Except... Read More

When Should You Give Up on Chasing a Woman?

This week I want to discuss chasing women, or rather I should say, when is... Read More

How to Find the Background of Your Online Date

The popularity of online dating has increased dramatically over the past few years. While most... Read More

Christian Dating Service and Dating Services

A Christian dating service can help single Christians meet one another and find companionship that... Read More

Internet Dating Tips for Beginners

There are lots of Internet dating sites available. Some are completely free and others are... Read More

How to Get More Responses at Online Dating Sites

So, you've decided to join a dating website. You're hoping someone out there will find... Read More

Got Attitude?

Probably you do have attitude, but what is it? Jaded, self-protective? Frightened? Is "scared to... Read More

So, How Big is Your Penis?

As a result of dating for decades and chatting with many singles of both sexes,... Read More

Dating On The Internet Is Growing! See How Online Dating Can Help You Find Available Singles Today

Dating on the Internet is growing rapidly year after year, because it has become very... Read More

Dont Procrastinate when It Comes to Meeting Single Women

Has this ever happened to you? You're at a bar or nightclub and you see... Read More

First Date ? Tips for Women

You are on your way to your first date with him. Probably a blind date.... Read More

1 Step You Should Take to Alleviate Anxiety When Meeting Women

Has a similar scenario like this one ever happened to you before?You've met a pretty... Read More

How to Make Women Want You

You don't need a guitar, rock-hard abs, or even a full head of hair to... Read More

Things To Avoid At Your First Date

Finally, after a year of mending a broken heart, you come out of your shell... Read More

Table For Two Please!

I recently heard a woman say that she would not date a short man. She... Read More

Dating Dilemma: The Man Who Said Hed Call and Didnt

You went out with the guy. You both had a great time (or at least... Read More

Why Not Average Joe: Exploring Melanas Choice

Admit it. You snickered, rolled your eyes and laughed out loud as the group of... Read More

Making The Connection: Tips For Getting Noticed

Chances are that you have had a wide variety of experiences in your quest for... Read More

Creating An Effective Personals Ad That Gets Results: Dos and Donts

Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes. Think of this as creating... Read More

1000 Proof Liquor

Each and every woman is an actress in their own way, and many of the... Read More

Dating Rules You Cant Afford to Break

If you are single and you want men to desire your company more and truly... Read More

Gay Dating Tactics: Your First-Date Dos & Donts

IntroductionNothing gets the heart pumping quite like the nervous anticipation that goes along with going... Read More

Dating in the New Millenium

Over the past 20 years the face of dating has gone through some noticeable changes.... Read More

How to Find True Love Quickly And Easily

How often do you find yourself wishing you could find true love?Unfortunately, you're not alone.... Read More

Body Language

Next to your internal mindset (which should be relaxed, confident, and sexual), body language is... Read More

Oops, I Did It Again

Oops! I did it again!So you are licking your wounds. Your relationship came to a... Read More

Have You Tried Online Dating, Only to be Disappointed?

Millions of people subscribe to Online dating services, but very few of them actually take... Read More

Dating Tips: The First Impression Matters

Ever had a love at first sight encounter? Totally captured by her beauty the first... Read More

Dating Sites Are Bringing Millions Of Singles Together For Quality Online Relationships

It's amazing how dating sites are helping over a million single men and women establish... Read More

Breaking Up

The first thing you should do is talk about what happened, to your closest friend... Read More

Dating Tips: Creating The Perfect Atmosphere

Had you ever been in the situation where your heart suddenly beats so fast, losing... Read More

Finding Compatible E-Dates

In the world of online dating misrepresentation is at an all time high. Janice, a... Read More

Are Parents Still Stopping You from Having a Girlfriend?

There are a lot of young men who find it difficult to go out and... Read More

Ways to Say I Love You in Another Language

Have you been looking for romantic and provocative ways to say "I Love You" to... Read More

5 Quick Ways to Find Your Next Date

Overwhelmed with family, school, work and volunteer obligations, woman are turning to online dating or... Read More

Web Cams: Windows on the World

The webcam has brought a truly amazing variety of experience to the desktop user giving... Read More

The Key to Reaching the Next Level in Dating Success

Back in the days when I was a teenager, I actually had reasonable success with... Read More